I bought a portable washing machine about a month ago. Cute thing, only washes 4.9 lbs. of wash at a time, but does it really well. Found it on Craigslist and got a great deal on it. I used it probably upwards of 20 times before it flooded the bathroom I had it hooked up in, draining down in bucketloads into the landlady's apartment beneath, and from there into the basement.

Needless to say, we're moving, asap. I have no notion as to why the machine broke down like that, and at this point, I don't care. I just know that we're going to definitely be out our security deposit, to pay for the landlady's deductible for an insurance claim.

On top of that, we certainly hadn't saved up any money yet, not for a new vehicle (which was the first thing on our list to save for - a used minivan before winter strikes), not for anything. Which means we had to go through our list of family members to find out that nobody has any money to loan us. We ended up calling our bishop at church and laying the troubles at his feet. He's promised that if we pay the first month's rent, the church will pay the rest.

Now we just have to find a place... We're in the middle of bankruptcy, so that's not as simple as it might be. And we have to hope and pray that our landlady wants us out bad enough that she won't badmouth us to any future landlord/lady.

Incidentally, she's been after us to pay the full amount of the damages - She gave us an itemized estimate from some company or other in the amount of $2,400. We haven't responded. We will as soon as we've safely landed another place to live. We can then let her know that from what we've heard from a lawyer, all we're responsible for is her insurance deductible. And if she can prove in our lease that having a portable washing machine went against the terms of that lease, she has the right to evict us. But we're leaving anyway, so there wouldn't be much point in her taking that action.

I'm so tired of life socking it to me. I know we'll get through this, but I can't help but wonder, especially late at night like it is now, what infernal force has it out for this family? I mean... Not only are we in the middle of bankruptcy, not only did we manage to flood our building, but on the day of this godawful flood, I and my 4-month-old baby boy were both sick with the flu. Fevers, sore throats, coughs, body aches, etc... So I have to deal with mopping up a flooded bathroom when I'm sick as a dog, leaving my sick baby to scream in his swing. I still haven't forgiven my landlady and her family for not helping me clean up that bathroom or hold my baby while I did. Three weeks later, I'm still coughing my way out of this bug. My energy level is still way low. I've had to convince myself hour by hour that life is still worth living.

I'm unsure whether it's terrifying or comforting to me, but life could still be worse. It can always be worse. Unless you're a prisoner of war in a torture camp, it can always be worse. Or you could be homeless and dying from AIDS. Or you could discover you're the parent of the latest serial killer caught and made into a gruesome movie.

Yep, I'm babbling. Half-insane with stress and exhaustion, I figure I have a right to babble a bit. Specially since this is my very own personal blog!

The bright lining will be a new apartment. This one sucks anyway. I'm sitting here in front of the computer melting in Chicago summer heat, because the wiring in this stupid building isn't good enough to support a sufficiently powerful air conditioner to cool off our main living areas. We can only run smaller, single-room air conditioners in the two bedrooms. Can't wait to get into an apartment with normal wiring. And up-to-date plumbing that doesn't leak, with faucets with good water pressure. With windows that open and stay open. And no cranky landlady that lives beneath us.

My next blog will hopefully share all the lovely details of our new home.